


I Am Not Dressing As A Hedgehog!!  🦔

by cdelbridge



Category: johnlock - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Other, plushy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-07-31 00:03:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20105854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cdelbridge/pseuds/cdelbridge
Summary: John and Sherlock go undercover at a plushy convention.From the Urban Dictionary:  plushy-a person who has a fetish for stuffed animals or people dressed as stuffed animals.





	1. Chapter 1

Sherlock Holmes entered the flat in a rush and started removing his Belstaff while talking none-stop.

“We have a new case John! Time is of the essence! I arranged for costumes to be sent here for us. Don’t bother me for an hour or so, I have to go to my mind palace!” With that, Sherlock threw himself down on the sofa with his fingers under his chin, deep in thought.

John stood up slowly, working the kinks out of his spine and shoulders. He’d been working on his blog for the past couple of hours and his back ached. Glaring at his spouse, he made his way to the kitchen for some tea although he had a suspicion that coffee was going to be more valuable.

From the sitting room, John heard Sherlock yell, “Not enough god damn information! Ugh! Knew I shouldn’t have deleted that but you can’t keep everything!”

“Would you like coffee,” he called to his spouse. “Sounds like a tough one. Want to tell me about it?”

”One of the landed gentry is in town incognito and is attending an event with his boyfriend. They go to the first day of the event and were enjoying themselves but got separated. Not worrying much about it as they’d just meet back at the room, the boyfriend went about his business. It was only after his partner didn’t show up by the next morning that he got worried. Then he found a text message from an unknown number showing part of a costume with a knife through it demanding money or else they’d expose the peer, his boyfriend and their fetish.” Sherlock was pacing the sitting room quickly. “This is at least an eight! Love it!”, as the detective stomped back and forth.

”Wait a minute, they’re at a fetish convention? What kind of fetish do they have?”, John asked bewildered. “I didn’t know fetish conventions even existed.”

”They’re plushy’s John. They like having sex with people dressed as stuffed animals. We’re going to the convention in costume to see what we can find.”, Sherlock now was pacing with a box of biscuits in hand, munching as he talked. At the sound of a knock on the door, Sherlock changed direction and said, “that should be our costumes now. We didn’t have much to choose from as most costumes are taken so I’m going to be an otter and I got a hedgehog costume for you.” And he vanished downstairs leaving John with his mouth hanging open.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the convention

“Ok Sherlock,” the hedgehog said into his earpiece. “I’m at the door of the main hall.”

On the other side of the ballroom, John could make out a tall otter who raised his paw? hand? claw? in acknowledgement. He had to do this subtly as he was surrounded by other plushies, several of whom were closer than John liked. A short, squat raccoon seemed to be actively engaged in chatting up the newcomer and the doctor smirked as he saw a paw (?) grab a handful of costumed detective ass and heard Sherlock squawk in his earpiece.

“Should I come over and defend your honor?”, John asked innocently. “I could challenge him to a duel I suppose.”

The otter now appeared to be giving him the finger. John chuckled to himself. “So, the missing man showed up a few hours ago, saying he’d been drugged and had his costume stolen. We only have a few more days before everyone goes their separate ways. Any ideas?”

The otter had managed to slip away from his admirer and was heading towards the hedgehog. A costumed feline sidled up to John at that moment and whispered in his ear. “There’s a private party on the tenth floor tonight. You should come. Bring a friend. Or two!”. They grabbed what would be John’s crotch under normal circumstances and said, “Oh and bring protection. Last year someone brought a nasty social disease that took forever to get rid of.” Waving at John, they moved on.

Sherlock arrived right after the feline and John could tell he was annoyed. “Did that cat just grab your cock?”

John grabbed the otter’s hand and led him to the doorway, “Let’s go back to our room and talk. We need a plan.” As they exited the ballroom, the hedgehog said, “Let me just say that if this is a fetish you find yourself interested in pursuing after this case, we’ll be in marriage counseling.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intermission!

Sherlock dragged his spouse down the hallway after him, not even unhanding him to open the door but managing that one handed. Once the door was open, he pulled the hedgehog inside and shut the door.

Pushing John up against the wall and removing both of their headpieces, he leaned against the shorter man and started grinding his hips against him. “Did you know these suits have zippers over the crotch area? For the obvious necessary bathroom needs but for a group like this because they often have group orgies.” Sherlock continued licking and sucking his husband’s neck as he unzipped the back of the suit. “However I refuse to do you while you look like a rodent.” The suit slipped down John’s hips followed seconds later by Sherlock’s. Leaning close, the detective moved aside their pants and grabbed both erections in one big hand and started rubbing. “Make no mistake about this John Watson-Holmes,”, moving his hand a little faster, “you belong to me!” And in record time, both men came, half dressed, leaning against a hotel room wall, while wearing animal costumes at a plushy convention.

John decided if hell existed, he was most definitely going there, arm in arm with his spouse. Followed closely by the thought that he didn’t much care. Leaning against the wall, he suggested, “you might want to clean up before you get any come on our suits. I’m sure it would help us fit right in here but we’d have to pay to have them cleaned.”

As his taller husband leaned against him and tried to catch his breath, while avoiding getting anything on their suits, John suddenly remembered, “I think we were invited to an orgy tonight.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now things get strange

John was waiting for Sherlock to finish dressing before he put his hedgehog head back on. He was using this spare time to regale his husband with plushy lore.

“So less than one percent of plushy’s admit to being into plushophilia aka having sex with stuffed animals or people dressed as stuffed animals.”, John muttered, “wouldn’t you know we’d run into that one percent in all their glory.” He continued, “sexual acts are known as yiff and actual sex is called yiffing.”

Sherlock stormed out of the bathroom, “John, for the love of god, please shut up. Why are you telling me this stuff? Do you want me to be traumatized forever? If you ever want sex again, please stop telling me this crap.” He turned, went back into the bathroom and slammed the door.

“Well now Sherlock, these are things you need to know!”, John said with a grin but shuddered after he saw a particularly bizarre picture. “How are we going to participate in the orgy? I don’t want to sleep with anyone but you and I’m not sure I can get an erection for your average plushy.”

Sherlock came back out of the bathroom. “Do you listen to yourself? You’re not touching anyone but me. And vice versa. But I’m not above putting on a show for the masses if we have to John. And we can point out that we are STD free and intending to stay that way.”

Sherlock was shrugging into his otter costume. John picked up his headpiece and said, “OK, let’s make a pact. We touch no one but each other, I can punch anyone who tries to touch your cock and most importantly, we tell no one about this!”

“Deal John!” Sherlock put on his headpiece and gestured to the door. “Oh and keep your eyes open for needles and such. I’m thinking the peer can’t be the only one targeted for blackmail.”

Looking each other over at the door, John touched the otters whiskers and said, “we’re venturing into an unholy land Sherlock! Let’s not misplace each other.”

And they went out the door, arm in arm.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex

The otter buzzed the button on the door which was promptly opened by a mostly naked woman wearing an animal mask (dog), matching gloves/paws and socks/paws. “Come on in! We’ve just gotten started.” Turning, she led the way into the suite.

John noticed that she had a matching tail as well and found himself thinking (with only a mild degree of hysteria), butt plug. He knew Sherlock was thinking the exact same thing as he heard a stifled chuckle through his earpiece.

There were maybe twenty people in the room in various costumes and stages of undress. Some had opted for the modified costume like the woman at the door while others were in full costumes. Some people were actively engaged in sex with zippers down and genitals out while others were rubbing against each other. “There’s a name for that.”, John said. “Of course there is.”, replied his spouse.

At that moment, the feline who had invited them came forward and put her arms around John. She was dressed similarly to the person who had answered the door except with cat accessories. “I’m so glad you could make it.”, she purred in the hedgehog’s ear. “Why don’t you come over here with me. I’d really like to do both of you at the same time.”

John could feel the otter getting snippy so he stepped in carefully and said, “we’re only really here for each other. But if you’d like to watch, we’d really enjoy that.”

”Well, that’s different. Do you do full costume? It can get a little hot and I’d really like to see more of you both.”, she sat down on the floor near some other participants, grabbed the chubby raccoon’s somewhat impressive erection and absently began stroking him. A wolf came over to join her and began stroking her thighs. “But go ahead. We’d love to watch.”

The hedgehog spoke into his headset, “costume on? I’m not sure I want to get naked with this lot.”

”The things I never expected to hear out of your mouth John! But I agree wholeheartedly. And I brought lube.”, the otter moved closer to John and began caressing his chest. “Sure you’re ok with this?”

”Yes. Although we’ll have to move the handpieces a little.”, after some adjustment, the hedgehog reached for his spouse’s zippered genitals and tugged.

Oddly enough, both of them were hard. John has been a little concerned that they wouldn’t be able to perform but here they both were, erect and leaking pre-come. Not being able to remove their masks which made head impossible, John ground his pelvis against the otters leg while Sherlock held the hedgehog tightly and ground back. Taking both of their cocks in hand, Sherlock tugged until both were gasping.

”Now? Please Sherlock!”, the doctor moved the zipper more to allow access to his hole and bent down on his hands and knees. The assembled plushy’s got an excellent view of his asshole as well as Sherlock’s cock as he proudly stood there making sure everyone could see and appreciate what they wouldn’t be getting. Kneeling behind his spouse, he inserted a finger, then two, letting the tension build. Finally removing the lube from somewhere in his suit, he slicked John’s hole, then his cock and slid effortlessly in, balls deep.

John groaned as did everyone else in the room. Making sure that his partner was ok, the otter then started pounding his cock in and out of the hedgehog then reached down to fist his cock matching the strokes with the rhythm of his hips. John came explosively and the contractions of his muscles around Sherlock sent him over the edge seconds later

They were catching their collective breaths when both felt a slight prick as a needle hit home and blackness descended.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The culprit comes forth

All was dark. John felt something next to him move and hoped it was Sherlock. As near as he could tell he (they?) were in a hotel room, tied to a bed, naked. He really really hoped it was Sherlock next to him. Licking his lips and ignoring the headache that had formed behind his eyes (probably a remnant of whatever drug had been used), he tried his voice. 

“S’lk”, he gasped. Licking his lips, he tried again, “Sherlock, is that you?”

After a moment, a pained deep voice said, “What the hell did they inject us with? My head is about to explode.”

Relief flooded through John as he said, “no idea but my head is killing me. Any ideas as to what is going on?”

“I think so but I’m not sure you’d believe me if I told you.”, Sherlock gasped and John deduced he was trying to sit up. “God my fucking head!”

At that moment a door opened and a light came on, followed by a familiar voice. “My, my, if it isn’t Sherlock Holmes and his Dr. Watson. I’ve always wanted to see you two naked and going at it. The costumes took a little away from it but I have to admit I was impressed.”, said Irene Adler.

She was clothed in actual clothes instead of the seductive cat outfit from earlier. John couldn’t believe he didn’t recognize her voice or at least her body but comforted himself that Sherlock hadn’t seemed to recognize her either. She strode into the room and looked down at them. “I really would have loved having you both at the same time. Some other day I guess.”

Another woman appeared in the doorway and said, “We’re ready.” John recognized her as the dog who’d opened the door to them.

“You remember my assistant Kate don’t you?”, walking back to the door, Irene turned. We really must be going. I’m sure you’ll work your way out of the knots sooner or later but by then we’ll be long gone.” Walking back over to the bed, she reached out a hand to caress both sets of genitals. “So long gentlemen!” And she turned and strode out the door followed by her assistant.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock is pissed

“We really need to get out of these knots Sherlock.”, said John as he struggled against his bindings.

The detective was sitting up as he struggled with his own but what he said was, “We had sex in front of Irene Adler! She’s been after me for years to put on a show for her or to let her participate and I’ve said hell no! Now we innocently gave her what she wanted. Fuck me!”

The doctor stopped his war on knots and said, “She’s been after you to have a threesome?”

“Threesome, foursome, orgy, barnyard sex, who the fuck knows with her! I’ve got it!”, the detective yelled the last bit as the ropes fell away. He turned to work on John’s. “Even though she’s into bondage, she once told me there’s a trigger point for safety.” John’s ropes fell away as well.

“Come on John, we’re losing them!”, the detective sprang up, staggered and limped for the door.

“Sherlock!”, John leaped off the bed as well, staggered as the blood began returning to his appendages, looked around for something to put on and finally grabbed the sheets from the bed. Wrapping one around himself he ran down the hallway after his nude spouse.

Sherlock was pressing the down button and yelling at the elevator when John ran up. Wrapping a sheet around his distracted spouse he said, “the stairs!”

Grabbing the sheet around himself, Sherlock ran for the exit “good thinking! She’s more likely to take the stairs!” Wrenching the door open, he started down. “Come on John! We’re losing them!”, he yelled.

Hearing a swear and a door slamming somewhere below, they both put on a burst of speed. Practically flying down the steps, they burst through the door at the bottom into the lobby which was full of plushy’s heading to different sessions. 

Standing on tiptoe, Sherlock yelled, “Did anyone see the two women who just came out that door?” John came up behind him and looked frantically around.

A chipmunk waved and said, “they just got into a taxi.”

Sherlock threw his hands up in the air and screamed, “Fuck!”. His sheet fell to the floor. 

The plushy’s applauded. The chipmunk, John thought, said, “Very nice but not without your fur.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up the trigger point for knots as I had yo get the boys out the door. Whether such a thing exists or not, I can’t say.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all comes down to...

Back in their hotel room (they had, sort of, explained how they’d lost their key which the grinning front desk person had replaced), John was lying on the bed watching Sherlock pace the length of the room and back, talking a mile a minute.

“So our little “friends” (he actually did the air quotes, John hid his smile), used our key to deliver our costumes back to us before we woke up from the drugs. How nice of them. We missed Irene and her assistant Kate but there is still their person on the inside here. He’s a client of Irene’s of course. She found out what he does and bided her time to use it against him. She found what she wanted in the plushy convention.” Hand gestures had joined the pacing. “She gets the guest list and recognizes some names and a plot is born. These things are notoriously raunchy so it’s not hard to figure they could lure people into sex games. She takes compromising pictures, threatens to expose some people and voila, blackmail.” He stopped in front of John. “Questions?”

“How did Irene recognize me? I’m presuming she did and didn’t just guess well.”, John asked.

“Seriously??? She recognized your walk. Even in a hedgehog costume you walk like you have a tree trunk between your legs.”, the pacing had resumed. “We need the event program to figure out how to trap our boy. I take it we have one?” Sherlock stopped and looked at his husband.

John sat up and began rummaging through the clutter on the bed. “Here it is.”, he said holding up the program.

“Good, see what is going on tonight.”, Sherlock had stopped pacing and was now leaning against the wall, staring at the floor.

“Um, a beauty pageant? Seriously?”, John asked in disbelieve. “My mind hurts, says here they have a swimsuit competition.”

Sherlock steepled his fingers underneath his chin and gazed at the floor. “Who is judging, does it say?”

John turned a page, “there’s a picture. Oh my god, it’s the well-hung raccoon!”

“Should I be concerned you noticed?”, Sherlock said with a smile. “We need to enter that contest John!”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The take off, I mean take down!

After some discussion, it was decided that Sherlock would enter the beauty pageant and John would be the muscle. The doctor was perfectly fine with this although he personally thought Sherlock wanted the chance to strut, especially after his posturing at the orgy. But whatever.

That night:  
The hedgehog took up his post in front of the stage. He was relatively certain the raccoon was acting alone by this time but didn’t want to jeopardize Sherlock in case he was wrong. 

The detective had disappeared an hour or so ago to “get ready” and John wasn’t sure what that meant but figured he’d find out sooner or later. He just hoped his spouse hadn’t gone overboard.

The other plushies were gathering as well and the auditorium was getting warm and frankly smelly (John refused to imagine what had gone on in the costumes to make them smell that bad!). He found himself standing next to a basset hound and a rather moth-eaten gorilla with a bouquet of flowers.

After a somewhat uncomfortable (for John) wait, the raccoon/emcee came out on stage to cat calls from the audience. The raccoon took a bow, some music came on and he began dancing and, unbelievably, twerking. The audience lost it and joined in from the floor.

Finally, things calmed down and the raccoon came to the microphone to introduce the nights event. “And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the swimsuit competition!” More cheers. The doctor found himself worrying about mass hysteria.

“First up, from right here in London, we have Mona the minx.”

Evidently Mona was a veteran and a favorite as a person in a mink, it was hard to tell, costume and a bikini over it, came out to loud applause. She strutted about the stage, threw out a hip to much applause, and turned around to, um, shake her assets. She went and stood next to the raccoon.

“Next up, another fan favorite, George.”

George turned out to be a gorilla wearing the world’s biggest speedo. He strutted about the stage, came to stand in front of the gorilla next to John and proceeded to gyrate and pretend to take off the speedo. The gorilla next to John shouted in a deep voice, “love you George baby” and started throwing individual flowers from the bouquet. He went to stand near Mona.

“Jessie the cat!”, the emcee called.

Jessie came out in a grey cat outfit with a bikini like those worn by woman body builders. Except hers had been altered to have extra pieces to cover all the cats nipples. She gyrated around the stage and teased the audience by lifting up various pieces to show nipples. They went nuts.

John, for one, was seriously glad of the headpiece as his open mouth and stunned expression would mark him as a newby. If he didn’t know better, he’d have sworn hallucinogens had been pumped into the room somehow. As it was, he thought there weren’t enough drugs in the world to cause this.

So it went for several more contestants, each with their own gimmick and fans. When they had announced Georgia the basset hound, the similarly dressed person next to him had yelled, “Yeah baby, the puppies and I love you!”, as he held up several stuffed animal basset hounds. Georgia had come over, exposed a nipple and attached one of the stuffed animals to it. The audience howled like basset hounds and she went to stand next to the others. By this point however John was beyond speech and seriously worried about his sanity.

Finally, the emcee announced, “and last, a newcomer to our group but hopefully they’ll be back again, Sherl!”

John perked up, his husband couldn’t possibly outdo those and they had a job to do. 

The otter came out on stage dressed in a Hawaiian grass skirt, a coconut bra and several flowery lei. She/he swayed their way around the stage in a modified hula and once in front of the hedgehog, leaned over to shake their coconuts at him. A voice in his earpiece said, “get ready John!”. The otter whipped off the coconut bra and threw it into the audience. The crowd went nuts. The otter continued to hula his way around the stage and started removing lei as he went. He made as if to throw them but at the last second turned and hula’d up to the emcee and started to wrap them around the raccoon, effectively trapping him. It took the emcee a moment to connect the dots but once he did, he pulled away from the otter and tried to run. The audience thought this was part of the act and started applauding. 

The hedgehog had been fighting his way on stage and once he got there, tripped over his own feet, falling heavily against both the otter and the raccoon. They all went down in a heap with the raccoon on the bottom.

Mayhem ruled but over the cacophony John heard Lestrade’s voice saying, “official police business. Everyone calm down!”, as he and several officers made their way to the stage.


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrap up

Sherlock Holmes came up the flight of stairs to the woman looking down at him. He held out his hand and she reluctantly put the thumb drive into it. Turning, he started back down the stairs.

“You know I wouldn’t have used them,” Irene Adler said. “Not unless I had to.”

He stopped, turned briefly and said, “I know. But this way you can resist temptation.”, and he continued down the steps to the short, sturdy blonde man waiting for him. Taking his hand, they walked off arm in arm.

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to my wonderful spouse, Tony, who came into my home office to announce, “Sherlock and John should solve a crime at a plushy convention.” Thank you baby! I really don’t know what I’d do without you!


End file.
